PARIS — Sarah Mitton’s heart was broken in too many places for her to see the middle; there was only the end of another Olympic dream.
And it was too close emotionally and statistically to the one that perished in Tokyo three years ago when she choked under pressure, threw just 16 metres and change, and went away so crushed by the experience that it took a year to recover.
But she did. She set and reset her Canadian records indoors and out to 20.22m and 20.68m respectively; claimed Commonwealth Games, world indoor gold medals and a world outdoor silver medal in 2023; and became a Diamond League staple. It was all building toward redemption at these Olympics.
And then it all fell apart. Again. In the wake of another disappointment on Friday at Stade de France, the 27-year-old shot-putter from Brooklyn, N.S. put on a brave face, and was able to answer most of the questions that emanated from her shocking performance in the throwing circle.
Her personal best is 20.68m, and she set it this year. On Friday she threw 17m and change and finished 12th, dead last in the final, in the rain. She had qualified first on Thursday with one throw of 19.77m, and was supposed to win this, or at the very least step onto the podium. American Chase Jackson, her chief rival at almost every major meet, didn’t make it out of qualifying. That should have been a bonus, maybe even a confidence boost for Mitton.
And then the rain started to fall, and it washed away all the good vibes. Mitton worried about falling. She got too conservative. It was the strangest thing, and all too reminiscent of her Olympics debut.
“You know, I had my heart broken in Tokyo,” she said. “It was my first Games and everyone talks about the Olympic moment. And I thought, you come to the Olympics and everyone has this phenomenal experience. And making the Games is such a prideful moment. I’m still very prideful to compete for Canada.
“But at the end of the day, there’s two sides of the coin, and there’s usually no middle. It’s either heartbreak or success. And the heartbreak part is the side that nobody sees. For me, after Tokyo, I recovered the next season, but it took months. It really did. It’s tough. I mean, you do this every day of your life, for this one moment. I’ve trained three years for today.”
When that day, heck it was just two hours, doesn’t go your way, it hits you so hard. When you throw 17 metres instead of 20. When you finish 12th, dead last in the final, not with a medal around your neck. When there is no victory lap, no anthem, no photo ops, no happy hugs with family, friends and your coach.
For Mitton, there was also personal tragedy before she came up short here, and one magnifies the other. Her father died 10 weeks ago and the pain was obviously still fresh. She’s 27 and mature, but she lost her dad, for heaven’s sakes. Her mom was in Paris, watching her daughter rip it up in qualifying, and everyone was full of expectation. And then? Thud.
“Did I want it to go better than this for both of them? For sure. For Canada, of course. But it’s been a tough 10 weeks. And I’m just really proud to make it here standing. I feel like I can finally breathe. Unfortunately, it’s not the breath of fresh air I wanted. But it’s a breath. And so, yeah, just standing here today, like I know that they’re both very proud of me.”
So what happened, technically speaking? She swung too easy in the first round and the shot simply didn’t fly, just 17.15m. Then 17.48m the second time. By the third attempt, when the rain stopped and the circle was dry, she finally went for it. But by then she was so desperate and all the momentum she needed to move into the top eight and another three throws sent her flying out of the circle. End of Games.
“I almost saved it,” she said. “Almost only counts in horseshoes, not in shot put. And yeah, I just ran out of throws. I went in with the world at my fingertips and I kind of let it slip through the cracks.”
That throw was probably 19 metres plus, and maybe in time that will be enough for her to look at Paris differently than she did at Tokyo. She fouled on her last two throws.
“I was at Tokyo and what got to me was the pressure and those moments slipping away. And on my last throw in Tokyo, I actually, like, completely, you know, tightened up, cracked and just couldn’t handle it. And so, you know, I’ve spent like three years doing mental performance, like two to three times a month. Mentally, I was prepared to win this. And I just unfortunately still, there’s still like a missing piece somewhere that I need to be able to work out and find.”
She was eliminated but she stayed out there to watch the remaining athletes. She wanted to see what they had, what she was missing.
“I think I saw some fearlessness that I think I still don’t have. You know, at the Olympics, you got to go for it. I mean, you’re here, everyone’s ready to throw far. And I think I was still a little too hesitant with the rain and despite my brain saying like, you know, go for it. My body still, I was like scared of falling.”