Et tu, Driving.ca? For the past few years on and off, this website has brought you spring round-ups of some of the most absolutely bizarre officially licensed accessories, products, and promotional tie-ins churned out by automakers as part of a series we call “Merch Madness”—stuff that defies the bounds of good taste and makes you wonder “why would a car manufacturer stick their branding on that in 2025?”

This has typically taken the form of 17 or 18 knickknacks spread across four or five automakers, usually of the premium or high-end variety. (Last year, for example, we took a look at weird gear being hawked by the hucksters at Aston Martin, Bugatti, Nissan, Tesla, and Bentley.) This year, we’re pivoting to a list with one wacky item per OEM and calling the whole thing the Ides of Merch instead.

If you loved what we did last year, never fear, the same elements are still here in our compilation below: respectable carmakers marketing kitschy merchandise, often at exorbitant prices. We’re just spreading the second-hand embarrassment around even more manufacturers, is all!

(And despite the pithiness you’ll read on this page, we swear we pass no judgment if any of these wares actually appeals to you—some of it’s sort of neat, in its own way! Just don’t expect us to fawn over Cadillac sneakers or a Lamborghini baby stroller.)

Revo | Lexus Spindle premium sunglasses: US$279

Revo | Lexus Spindle premium sunglassesPhoto by Lexus

We’ll start you off easy with a vertical you’ll find a lot of high-end automakers dipping their toes in: luxury eyewear. The new Lexus collection from sunglass retailer Revo, launched in January 2025, actually boasts a not-unreasonable price tag, either. We’re not saying the equivalent of CDN$400 shades are a good value, don’t get us wrong, just that that’s more in line with an un-branded analog.

And where else are you going to find a pair of sunglasses like “the Spindle,” a “sleek navigator” named after the trademark Lexus design element and complete with a little replica grille right above the bridge of the nose? Other pairs in the collection take “inspiration from Lexus’s signature taillight to the iconic black and DayGlow yellow livery of the Vasser Sullivan Championship Racing Lexus RC F GT3 race cars.”

Fahrengold Bugatti Edition FG-01 Garage: CDN$100,000-plus

Fahrengold Bugatti Edition FG-01 Garage
Fahrengold Bugatti Edition FG-01 GaragePhoto by Bugatti

When you start collecting enough toys, eventually you want a toy-box to keep them in. Bugatti – a Merch Madness perennial favourite – has got you covered with a new single-car garage it’s offering in partnership with German firm Fahrengold, a giant 242-inch (6,147-mm) by 144-inch (3,658-mm) box made to perfectly display and protect your multi-million-dollar Bug hypercar.

Bugatti refers to the box garage as “museum-inspired,” but to us it looks more like the packaging for a scale-model diecast car. But the specs do impress: it’s made out of a galvanized steel frame with security-glass windows; is built from 2,500 pieces; and takes eight days to install. Features include climate control, gel tire cushions, and a security camera and a smoke detector, as well as a “personalized plaque reflecting the owner’s specific vehicle.”

A price was not noted, but as of 2021, a regular non-branded FG-01 garage would run you about €49,160, or CDN$77,000, so we’d peg the Bugatti version at at least six figures.

Ford Mustang and Bronco e-bikes: CDN$4,990 to CDN$5,990

Ford Mustang e-bike
Ford Mustang e-bikePhoto by Ford

“The legend is on two wheels!” Isn’t that exactly what you’ve been waiting to hear, Mustang and Bronco enthusiasts? Finally, you can get the same “distinct styling, power, handling, and performance” you love from the Blue Oval’s most coveted nameplates in an angularly shaped 500-watt electric bike, built in conjunction with industry leader N+ bicycles.

Yeah—we don’t quite get the appeal either, but then again, we’re not e-bikers. But Ford was confident enough in this product, launched in August ’24, that it even brought some out to the Canadian International Auto Show in Toronto last month. The e-bikes can assist you to a top speed of 32 km/h – you’re on your own after that – and have a battery range of 100 km. The Bronco-branded unit has more of an off-road vibe, as you might expect, while you’ll probably want to keep your Mustang on the streets.

Porsche Cayenne hot sauce: free

Porsche Cayenne hot sauce
Porsche Cayenne hot saucePhoto by Porsche Canada

This next entry, a limited edition run of hot sauces from Porsche, inspired by its spicy Cayenne SUV, is one of our favourites for two reasons: as with some past Merch Madness selections, it’s consumable; and, even better, it’s free. There’s a caveat to that second part, of course: you were only able to claim a bottle of the stuff gratis if you’d booked a Cayenne test drive at select Porsche Centres in Canada in fall of 2024.

Don’t know about you, but we’re suddenly very much wishing we had. We could have come home with a sample of the “Original” sauce, which “mirrors the versatility of the Cayenne with a sweet flavour and a garlicky, yet spicy finish”; or perhaps the “Cayenne S,” which adds a “spicier cayenne pepper kick [over] a combination of mangos and pineapple.” There were also two E-Hybrid inspired sauces – with green cayenne peppers and jalapeño, naturally – and, spiciest of all, “GTS” and “Turbo GT” sauces, that latter made from chipotle and red ghost peppers.

La Ferrari Dino bowling bag: CDN$3,900

La Ferrari Dino bowling bag
La Ferrari Dino bowling bagPhoto by Ferrari

Ferrari is one of the most valuable brands in the world thanks to its prestige and recognizability, duking it out with the likes of Apple for sheer brand power. So of course the Italian marque is going to slap its logo on just about everything it can. This year, we were really taken by the Prancing Horse’s latest high-fashion women’s clothing and accessory offerings.

The automaker’s website puts the spotlight on its new series of designer handbags, with a whole line meant to “evoke the essential shape and sinuous curves” of the classic Ferrari Dino of the 1960s. The calfskin is finished in polished Rosso Dino and features retro design themes. Not your bag? Ferrari will also sell you Prancing Horse earrings (CDN$440); or high-heeled leather sandals (CDN$1,900).

Suzuki Katana GSX 1100 S pizza cutter: CDN$25

Suzuki Katana GSX 1100 S pizza cutter
Suzuki Katana GSX 1100 S pizza cutterPhoto by camshop.jp

We’ll be upfront and admit we’re not sure if this one is actually an officially licenced Suzuki product—it comes out of Japanese retailer Camshop, which sells the eerily-accurate-to-a-real-1981-Suzuki-Katana-GSX-1100 culinary implement for 2,640 yen, including the matching stand. The body is plastic, and the blade stainless steel, and, yes, even though the company is Japan-based, it apparently does international shipping.

Other products out of Camshop include a tissue box shaped like an Initial D Sprinter Trueno, a neat little piece of kitsch that is licensed by Toyota proper and makes us think the Suzuki pizza-cutter might be, too.

Tesla Levitating Cybertruck model: US$250

Tesla Levitating Cybertruck model
Tesla Levitating Cybertruck modelPhoto by Tesla

No one does weird merch quite like Tesla, which in the past has hawked everything from flamethrowers to tequila to branding irons. The latest must-have gizmo it revealed December 2024 was a 1:24-scale replica of its polarizing Cybertruck that literally levitated off of your desk, surely a steal at US$250. At least, a lot of Tesla devotees must have thought so, as the model sold out almost immediately (though the number it was making available is not known).

The wheel-less model EV pickup floated using magnets and featured working LED head- and taillights; however, the effect only worked on level, non-metallic surfaces. If you feel positively compelled to own one, you’ll have to turn to the likes of eBay, where resellers are asking double the price Tesla was for the things. Alternatively, Tesla itself still has in stock a battery-powered US$1,500 Cybertruck ride-on toy for children; or a 1:18-scale scale-model Cybertruck for US$225 that unfortunately doesn’t levitate.

Rolls-Royce Cameo model: US$8,000

Rolls-Royce Cameo model
Rolls-Royce Cameo modelPhoto by Rolls-Royce

Speaking of scale models, here’s an alternate take: a shrunken-down Rolls-Royce roadster toy that’s made of the same materials as the real deal. As with the levitating Cybertruck, there’s magnets involved here, too, though in this case it’s for assembly, as there’s a bit of a build-it-yourself aspect to this roughly 12-piece luxury-car kit, dubbed “Cameo.” The main components include a solid oak body and a polished aluminum tub, as well as a real leather interior.

Rolls-Royce itself doesn’t publicly list a price (though it is apparently available through its dealers) but one retailer is offering up Cameo kits for US$8,000, so that’s probably a good ballpark.

Nissan Nismo ‘Smell My Dust’ perfume: $???

From the files of “wait, for real?” comes this piece of Nissan merch that feels like a prank. It’s a new fragrance tied to the brand’s Nismo performance arm and called “Smell My Dust,” an invective the company wants you to take literally. Yes, the perfume is apparently actually made with real bits of tire dust captured from Nissan’s Formula E electric racing cars, blended with notes of Sakura cherry blossoms—the flower is featured on the race cars’ liveries. There’s whiffs of rosemary, wood, and burnt sugar, too.

The fragrance was apparently meant to celebrate the Shanghai E-Prix back in May 2024 and was targeted toward young Chinese racing fans. Exactly how many bottles were produced and at what price remains something of a mystery.

Cadillac Dominic Ciambrone sneakers: US$5,000

Cadillac Dominic Ciambrone 'Lyriq' sneakers
Cadillac Dominic Ciambrone ‘Lyriq’ sneakersPhoto by Cadillac

When Cadillac announced it’d be making available a limited set of designer shoes beginning September 8, 2024, it meant very limited: the luxury automaker was only offering up 20 pairs total of the four styles of sneakers it’d designed in collaboration with Dominic Ciambrone and his Surgeon brand. And because exclusivity always comes at a price with these premium marques, each set was selling for US$5,000.

For the money you got a pair of fly kicks with “interior leathers and upholstery patterning, textiles, and stitching techniques” inspired by one of Cadillac’s recent EV models: the Celestiq, Lyriq, Optiq, or Escalade IQ. They sold out quick, as you can imagine, but the company’s Cadillac Signature shop still has plenty of other apparel and merch for sale—a Cadillac x Greyson cashmere sweater for US$450, anyone?

Lamborghini x Silver Cross Reef AL Arancio baby stroller: CDN$7,500

All you suckers pushing your kids around in a regular ol’ baby stroller are going to feel pretty jealous when you catch the Joneses taking little Jayden for a ride around the block in one of these new game-changing “super-strollers” from Lamborghini. The Italian carmaker worked with British pram producer Silver Cross on these, uh, babies, branded the “Reef AL Arancio” model and just opening up for orders now, at £4,000 a piece (about CDN$7,500).

These strollers will be legit, with Lamborghini-inspired styling cues like leather and suede trim and a powder-coated chassis (and, of course, Lambo badges all over). The Reef AL Arancio will be limited to just 500 examples, so you’re going to want to get yours ASAP.

Our runner-up piece of Lamborghini merch for this roundup was the new line of turntables that it whipped up with industry leader Technics. The Lamborghini SL-1200M7B deck actually looks like a neat piece of kit, and at US$1,200 (on sale from its retail US$1,600) is something of a deal. Still, when we’re reduced to gawking at Lambo badges on a piece of audio equipment, that’s when you know we’re in the Ides of Merch.

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