Over 1,000 men contacted a Northern Irish charity specialising in support for male domestic abuse victims last year.
However, experts fear far more are suffering in silence.
The stark warning came at an event hosted by the Belfast Domestic & Sexual Violence and Abuse Partnership on Thursday.
Rhonda Lusty, chief executive of the Men’s Advisory Project NI (MAP), said 33% of domestic abuse crimes recorded by police here last year happened to men – the highest percentage since records began.
MAP further supported 1,007 abused men in 2024.
Almost 70% of those are heterosexual men who have faced abuse from an intimate partner, 10% were part of the LGBTQ+ community, and 21% faced abuse from one or more family members within the home.
MAP, a non-government-funded organisation, has been running for 27 years.
While there has been an increase over the last decade around the recognition and training needed around identifying signs of men who have been domestically abused, Ms Lusty said this is not a new trend.
One man named Peter (not his real name) came to MAP aged 62. He had faced domestic abuse by his wife for 22 years, and said her behaviour had changed following the death of her father, who had been abusive to her in her own childhood.
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Peter reported physical, verbal, psychological and financial abuse, and said police attended on seven occasions. Incidents included a broken cheekbone and broken fingers, both on separate occasions, but no charges were brought.
MAP also spoke to an older men’s group, with one participant having been a long retired foreman.
“He told us about working with a man in the 1960s, who they had to make a different pay packet for,” Rhonda stated.
“He had his pay packet he had to hand unopened to his wife. They gave him another packet he kept in work, so he had a few shillings for himself. He would often come into work ‘wearing the pattern of her rings’,” he said.
“Quite often men who are coming to us, they will have faced domestic abuse over many, many years and sometimes during that time, they may have tried to get help from statutory agencies, and those agencies don’t really know how to help either,” Rhonda explained.
“So we at MAP talk about how we can work together, as a team to try and get those people support. We all have to do a bit better and really open our eyes and curiosity, and understand that for every two victims that are women, one victim will be a man.
“These are big numbers and of course, 45 men have lost their lives to domestic abuse since we started to record those statistics.”
MAP provides multiple services to anyone that identifies as a man, who has experienced any form of domestic abuse.
This includes risk assessment, safety planning, referral and advocacy to other services of support, one-to-one counselling and group therapy sessions.
Dr Elizabeth Bates also spoke at Thursday’s event. Her research at the University of Cumbria focuses on working with male victims of domestic abuse, and studying the psychological impact of this.
She said that men can face many barriers when it comes to reporting their abuse, including stereotypes, stigma and shame, and the societal perception that ‘women are victims and men are perpetrators’.
Ms Lusty added: “I’d say the hardest thing is always to make the first call, but we will believe you, and we will be by your side as you rebuild yourself post-abuse.”
MAP is also one of hundreds of organisations denied the latest round of core grant funding from the Department of Health, and Ms Lusty said that type of funding has “never really been there for male victims of domestic abuse”.
“Over 60% of the men we helped last year had felt actively suicidal over the previous 12 months, due to the abuse they faced. The work we do is really important, but there comes a point when that service will no longer be able to be run, or it will become a service that has to be paid for, which isn’t fair for those who are on limited needs, or those who are facing domestic abuse and having ever penny watched by someone who is financially abusing them,” she continued.
The Department of Health said “the minister acknowledges the financial pressures and frustration experienced by the community and voluntary sector; the overall health and social care budget is facing a projected funding gap overall of £400m for 2025/26 and Trusts will be asked to deliver in the region of £200m in new savings for the second year running.”
For further information visit MAP’s social media pages or call the Belfast office on 02890 241 929, the Foyle office on 02871 160 001 or email [email protected]