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No, I did not give birth to them. My three daughters were bequeathed to me by three dear friends who are no longer with us and I try to do my part as best I can. Their parents emigrated from Hungary but all three were born in Canada. Two are only children, the third has siblings.
Talking to them, I get insights into the concerns and experiences of a younger generation. Our chats are mostly in Hungarian. They don’t want to forget the language learned from their parents and I want to practice my mother tongue. Meet my three lovely daughters (who are now also my friends) and their parents.
Daughter no. 1
The parents: Her mother, a sweet soft-spoken lady whose life revolved around her daughter. Her father, a multilingual man who held a position as interpreter with an international organization with headquarters in Montreal.
The daughter: Barb, now in her 60s, looked after her ailing mother for years. Now, with her mother’s passing, she has heath issues of her own and stays home a lot in her nice apartment.
A determined person, she manages her life well and “gets what she wants,” as a friend put it. She also made friends with the neighbours and keeps busy caring for her plants and applying a new hair colour, nail polish or makeup from her large collection.
I tried to be of help organizing food delivery, a volunteer visit and other help as needed. I also serve as a wake-up person as she likes to sleep in and does not own an alarm clock. I also get
to chat with her whenever she has free time. All in all, I am glad I don’t have to worry about her.
Daughter no. 2
The parents: Two extremely accomplished and successful people, the father a world-renowned chemist and university professor, the mother a social worker with a special talent for collecting and keeping friends.
The daughter: Claire, now in her early 70s, has had an eventful life travelling with her parents and meeting many interesting people. She has carved out her own life taking a library science degree, working and establishing a social circle of her own. A late marriage to a very suitable partner had the couple living with her parents in a west-end cottage. Then her father passed away and Claire had to look after her ailing mother.
After her mother’s passing, the couple stayed in the cottage but recently decided to sell it and move into a downtown senior residence. The move brought a big change into their lives. They sold their car and now walk everywhere exploring the colourful neighbourhood. She is a person of strong opinions and one of the last holdouts still wearing a mask. I listen to her take on the political situation here and in the United States. I think she helps me as much as I help her.
Daughter no. 3
The parents: Her father, a quiet man of science and inventions, her mother, a powerhouse of energy. She not only raised four children on a meagre income but was also a leader in the Hungarian community, organizing events and heading a literary association.
The daughter: Elsie, my youngest daughter, is still in her 50s and part of a larger family. She is also still in the workforce. A talented artist, she is a fine sculptor and has done great work in ceramics. A kind and gentle person with an interest in the spiritual, she is a lover of dogs. She also has a talent for dealing with the elderly, which she now uses offering companionship visits.
Elsie is also lucky to be a part of a larger family which, due to their mother’s efforts, loves meeting often and taking part in each other’s lives. Due to all these factors I am less in touch with Elsie but I know I can always count on her help and she on mine.
Here is a salute to all mothers and daughters, whatever their connection.
— Alice Lukacs writes the Life in the 90s column