They weep, they cry, and they gush in a peculiar obtuse manner.

These are the fan girls of accused cold-blooded assassin Luigi Mangione

They are undergrads (natch!), professors, journalists and a potpourri of leftists who believe that, by God, murder is OK. And if the suspected shooter is “hot”, even better.

But the gruesome facts aren’t Tiger Beat tidy.

This undated handout image released by UnitedHealth Group on December 4, 2024 shows UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson.
This undated handout image released by UnitedHealth Group on December 4, 2024 shows UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson.Photo by UnitedHealth Group / AFP /Getty Images

On Dec. 4, in the early morning hours on a Manhattan street, an assassin walked up behind UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson, 50, and squeezed the trigger several times.

The controversial exec was D.O.A.

A five-day manhunt ensued and the 26-year-old Mangione was arrested at a McDonald’s in blue-collar Altoona, Pennsylvania.

Mangione is a rich kid, a child of extreme privilege. An Ivy League student, his private (and pricey) all-boys high school’s valedictorian.

Suspected shooter Luigi Mangione
SO HOT: Suspected shooter Luigi Mangione is led from the Blair County Courthouse after an extradition hearing December 10, 2024 in Hollidaysburg, Pennsylvania.Photo by Jeff Swensen /Getty Images

And to hear his fangirls tell it, he is dreamy.

Academics had some odd views on the tragedy of a father-of-two coldly slaughtered on a New York street.

Calling herself “The Soviette”, University of Pennsylvania professor Julia Alekseyeva took to TikTok and smiled as the Les Miserables song Do You Hear the People Sing? plays in the background.

RECOMMENDED VIDEO

The self-described “socialist and ardent fascist” wrote: “Have never been prouder to be a professor at the University of Pennsylvania [Mangione attended the Ivy League school).”

SMITTEN: University of Pennsylvania professor Julia Alekseyeva said Mangione was the “icon we need and deserve”. OK. upenn
SMITTEN: University of Pennsylvania professor Julia Alekseyeva said Mangione was the “icon we need and deserve”. OK. upenn

And she called the accused killer the “icon we need and deserve”.

Eyal Yakoby countered: “To anyone wondering how America’s youth becomes so radical to murder someone, it is because of the extremist professors.”

Of course, the world of “journalism” wasn’t far behind. American journalistic curiosity — and fellow rich kid — Taylor Lorenz told a shocked Piers Morgan Thompson’s murder caused her “joy”.

Lorenz told Morgan on Monday: “I do believe in the sanctity of life and I think that’s why I felt, along with so many other Americans, joy, unfortunately. Maybe not joy but certainly not empathy.”

FANGIRL: Kinda journalist Taylor Lorenz told Piers Morgan she felt “joy” at insurance CEO Brian Thompsons murder. screengrab
FANGIRL: Kinda journalist Taylor Lorenz told Piers Morgan she felt “joy” at insurance CEO Brian Thompsons murder. screengrab

The veteran newsman responded: “How could this make you joyfully? This guy is a husband, he’s a father, and he’s been gunned down in the middle of Manhattan. Why does that make you joyful?”

The 50-year-old former tech journalism golden girl blamed the ruthless U.S. health-industrial complex for her sour disposition and heartless outlook.

“So are the tens of thousands of Americans, innocent Americans, who died because greedy health insurance executives like this one push a policy of denying care to the most vulnerable people,” po-faced Lorenz added.

UnitedHealthcare-CEO-Killed
AND HE LIKES COMICS TOO! This booking photo released Monday, Dec. 9, 2024, by the Pennsylvania Department of Corrections shows Luigi Mangione, a suspect in the fatal shooting of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson.Photo by Pennsylvania Department of Corrections via AP /AP

But it is American university campuses where Luigi Mania runs deepest.

One fangirl wrote: ‘Luigi Mangione is an Ivy League Italian frat boy who’s [a] huge bookworm, loves reading comics and Pokémon also does weightlifting. That man is literally handmade for me and they just put him behind the bars.”

Another added: “I hope the UHC assassin can get online and see how much we all love him and everyone finds him hot.”

Some are even begging reality TV and one-time sex tape queen Kim Kardashian to ride to Mangione’s rescue because “he’s too hot for prison”.

YOUR HONOUR! Kim Kardashian.
YOUR HONOUR! Kim Kardashian.Photo by Instagram

But the rich kids’ Robespierre is unravelling and all the groupies in the world can’t help him.

NYPD homicide detectives have linked fingerprints at the crime scene to the suspected killer. They have the gun, the bullets, the manifesto.

Mangione is now in maximum security at a Pennsylvania prison while he awaits extradition to New York where he faces murder charges.

Still, a friend from Hawaii named Jackie Wexler said: “It just makes me sad to think how alone he must feel.”

Indeed.

[email protected]

@HunterTOSun