It has been Davis Alexander’s tradition, dating back to high school, to talk to his father, Matt, before and after every football game in which he played.
But last Friday, as he walked to Molson Stadium for that night’s contest against the B.C. Lions, Alexander realized the conversation would never happen again. His father, only 56, lost his battle to lung cancer on Aug. 31, surrounded by his family in a Tuscon, Az., hospital room.
Although Alexander, 25, knew he was unlikely to play against the Lions, he contemplated telling head coach Jason Maas to make him a healthy scratch, knowing he wasn’t mentally prepared.
“Walking to the game last week, that was tough,” Alexander told The Gazette by telephone Wednesday night. “Getting to the locker room, that was tough. I’m not superstitious, but I’ve done the same thing since I was in high school, through college. Every game here, I call my dad and we talk. He would always tell me to be safe, be smart and be responsible. Then he would tell me to play my ass off.
“It’s hard,” an emotional Alexander continued, pausing to carefully select his words. “I didn’t feel in the right head space (last Friday). I felt fogged up and didn’t feel that great. I did my warm-up, cried in the locker a little bit when I got (back) there. After I got that out of the way I felt OK and refreshed.”
Alexander, in his third season with the Als, replaced an injured Cody Fajardo for four games this season — three in which he started. Alexander came off the bench in the second half July 25 against Saskatchewan and rallied Montreal from a 13-point deficit. He never looked back from there, winning at Hamilton, back at home against the Tiger-Cats and at Saskatchewan, where he scored the winning touchdown on a 15-yard run with 30 seconds left in regulation time.
That Alexander returned to Arizona for 36 hours to visit his father between those last two games and practised only once made his stellar play all the more remarkable. The 6-foot, 200-pounder has completed 73 of 102 passes for 972 yards and six touchdowns, while being intercepted once. He also has 11 carries for 89 yards and a score.
Matt Alexander, a former professional rugby player from South Africa, was strong, determined and fought the dreaded disease for as long as he could. It probably was no coincidence he held on until the Als were on a bye week in the schedule, following their victory against Edmonton on Aug. 25, so he could see his son one last time.
When the quarterback boarded a plane the next morning at 5:45, little could he fathom his father had only days to live. Doctors were cautiously optimistic, having taken his father off a ventilator and reducing his oxygen. The medical team thought Matt might be discharged and be able to return home soon.
Father and son talked that Sunday, before the Elks game that marked Fajardo’s return from a hamstring injury.
“It was nice to hear his voice again,” Alexander said. “He thought I was starting and was confused as to why I wasn’t. He kept saying it was great to hear my voice. I told him ‘it’s great to hear your voice.’ ”
Things went well those first few days following Alexander’s arrival, with the family watching replays of Alexander’s games and marvelling at his prowess before his father’s condition unexpectedly deteriorated. The family was advised by doctors they had run out of options.
People of faith believe it’s not the cancer that kills a person. Rather, the heart simply gives out. And perhaps, knowing his family was safe and sound, Matt Alexander realized his time had arrived. He died on a Saturday morning, shortly after 10 a.m.
“I had a good feeling when I arrived home that week,” Alexander said. “We’re a family of fighters. The doctors were optimistic because there had been miracle after miracle. We needed a couple more to happen and he would have been sent home. But we ran out of luck towards the end. We ran out of miracles.
“If the doctors knew he was going to deteriorate that quickly, we would have taken him home. My stepmother wanted him to pass at home … to see the dogs. As we were discussing this with the doctors, I noticed his heart rate dropping. Fortunately I was able to be there for his last couple of breaths. He always told me I had the heart of a lion.
“When we talked that week we didn’t talk about him passing,” Alexander said. “He knew it wasn’t necessarily looking good, but he was going to keep fighting. When the doctors came to us in front of him, talked about options and said we’ve run out of them, the first thing my dad said was ‘you need to start being more positive, dude.’ He said that to the doctors.”
Alexander knows the next few months might eventually ease the pain he’s feeling but, for now, he’s still grieving. It was his father who taught him the glass is always half full and to treat people with respect because you never know what they might be enduring. Alexander vowed to carry on his father’s legacy.
“I want people to talk about me the way they talked about my dad.”