A woman who spent months hiding her hair loss and avoided intimacy with her husband has shared how she now walks around with her “patchy” head held up high. Petra Johnson was shocked when doctors diagnosed them with alopecia universalis – which has since seen her lose the hair on her head, as well as her eyebrows and eyelashes.
The 38-year-old mum was devastated when her hair came off in clumps and clogged her drain. She kept the hair loss a secret from friends, family and colleagues for a long time.Feeling insecure and self-conscious, Petra also often avoided being close to her partner or going to social gatherings.
“I’d wear a wig and avoid intimacy to keep my condition a secret,” said Petra, from Ealing, London.“The fear of discovery became a massive hurdle to fully enjoying our burgeoning relationship.I wasn’t going out with friends, I’d stay at home and completely avoid leaving the house.
“When it all started to fall out, it was difficult to look in the mirror. My hair would come out in my brushes and clog drains in the shower.And going to the gym was an absolute no.”
When Petra first met Mat, 45, she would hide her head under hats and wigs – and he was none the wiser. But eight months into their relationship, she gained enough courage to tell him about her condition.She said: “I was astonished to learn that he had never suspected I was wearing a wig.
“Mat couldn’t have been more supportive. He reassured me that he would never pressure me to remove it and that I could do so when I felt ready.I felt relieved and as if our relationship could finally start.During a weekend away, I finally took off my wig.
“Mat’s reaction couldn’t have been more perfect.He was calm and showed curiosity, simply asking if there was any sign of regrowth.This marked a significant turning point in our relationship, making subsequent reveals easier, even if it didn’t calm all my insecurities.
“I spent the rest of the weekend wig-less and confidently walked in public without it on.”
Soon after, Petra decided to tell her family and friends about her condition and wear her “patchy” head with pride out and about more often. Petra said: “I learned to be wig-less around them even though it wasn’t always easy.
“But I felt a shift in self-acceptance and self-confidence to walk in the street with no hair.It made me feel lighter because I truly didn’t care anymore.”
Petra has since married Mat and the couple share two children; daughter Hannah, three, and son Mathew, one. The mum is sharing her story to help others with similar conditions.Petra has also started her own wig business to help others with alopecia.
She said: “I have a much bigger purpose now – which is my children, my family and it doesn’t matter anymore what people think of me.Most people are proud of me that I can be myself.
“The harshest comment I used to get a lot was ‘It’s just hair, no one cares anyway’ – and it still makes me furious.Because people who don’t have this condition will never know how it feels to lose hair, facial hair and body hair unless they experience it.
“Even now, as a married mother of two, I occasionally struggle with self-image. At home, I go wig-less but there are times when I crave to look ‘normal’ or ‘nice’ by societal standards.At present, I have a few patches on my hairline but no eyebrows and eyelashes.
“While I know deep down that my husband loves me unconditionally, there are still moments when my confidence wavers.It’s an ongoing journey of self-acceptance, but having a partner who sees beyond my hair loss has made all the difference.
“Mat accepts me for me.The condition is a journey; there is no quick fix.It’s up to us how we ride this journey.It’s not easy to see your hair falling but there is a way to accept it and turn it into a bigger purpose.You are not alone – there are so many of us, finding a way to talk about it and reaching out to others will help.”