Mum-of-two Dominique Durrant is keen to encourage people to extend kindness to expectant mothers, and to avoid jumping to conclusions about why a couple doesn’t have a family.
“You see pregnant women every day,” she said, “but you never know what they might have gone through to get there – for many of us it is a long hard journey.”
Dominique, a hospital admissions co-ordinator from Gloucester, decided to share her story after she and husband Robert, a roofer, attended Bristol Centre for Reproductive Medicine’s celebration of 40 years of ‘Made in Bristol’ babies.
“We are so thankful for both our miracle babies, and I’m sharing our story partly to give hope to others, and partly to encourage those lucky people who have an easy route to parenthood to remember that one in seven couples struggle to have a baby, so please don’t make assumptions about why a couple don’t have children.”
Dominique and Robert now have two daughters, both born through BCRM, but Dominique has known from the age of 18 – when she was diagnosed with endometriosis and low levels of Anti-Müllerian hormone (AMH) – that if she wanted a baby she would need to start trying while she was still young.
However, when that time came in 2011, she was only 25 – too young to qualify for NHS funding – so the couple decided to pay privately, did their research and chose BCRM.
Dominique said: “IVF with Intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI) was recommended and we were so lucky to be successful with our first cycle.”
Nevertheless, their journey had not been without complications. In those days egg collection took place under general anaesthetic and Dominique’s procedure had to be halted when – despite no previous history – she went into penicillin-related anaphylactic shock.
She was given the option of stopping the treatment and restarting it all, or having the collection carried out under local anaesthetic (now common practice) as quickly as possible.
Not wishing to halt then restart everything, she decided the collection should go ahead and nine eggs were collected. After 24 hours in hospital, Dominique was fine.
Two embryos were transferred back in, and two weeks later a scan revealed she was pregnant with twins. Dominique and Robert were on cloud nine, but at the 12 week scan there was only one heartbeat: they had lost one of their babies.
The remaining twin, Macie, was born in February 2012 and the couple were delighted to finally become parents. But Dominique is one of four sisters and she really wanted a sibling for Macie, so they knew there would be more IVF to come.
Unfortunately their beginners’ luck didn’t extend to their second cycle, carried out later in 2012, nor their third in 2014 when Dominique had two blastocysts implanted with procedures that also included scratch and glue. At the end of the two-week wait she discovered she still was not pregnant.
She said: “I felt like I was on an emotional rollercoaster. We returned for a fourth cycle in at the end of the year, again without success. Then we moved house, thinking we would try again after Christmas.
“I was accessing a variety of chat groups where women in a similar position shared their stories. I didn’t write, but I read a lot. It was hard on my husband, watching me go through all this.
“I was feeling rather deflated when we returned to the clinic. My consultant suggested a change of drugs. I had previously used a pre-filled pen, but this time I had to mix the drugs myself.”
Dominique’s mum went with her for the egg collection because Robert had to be at his best friend’s wedding, but he was able to be with her for the transfer.
“It’s so tricky when you’re going through all this,” said Dominique, “it’s six weeks of juggling, when you feel like your life is on hold.
“Then we had to endure the two-week wait again, before I could do a pregnancy test, and I’m not the most patient person so I did a test one day early. It was negative. I was upset, angry and – more than anything – very sad.
“Then, happily, things took a turn for the better. The following day was my birthday, and we’d arranged to take Macie to Peppa Pig World and stay overnight. I was disappointed this wasn’t shaping up to be the celebration we’d hoped it would be – after the negative pregnancy test I was convinced the IVF hadn’t worked.
“But my period hadn’t started, so I rang my mum as I was worried something might be wrong. She suggested I repeat the pregnancy test.
“I did it in the loo at Peppa Pig World and I didn’t even bother to check it. I put it in my bra to look at later.
“The other guests in the reception area must have thought my husband and I were very strange when, shortly after, I looked at the test, saw it was 100% positive, mouthed to him ‘I’m pregnant’ and we both started jumping up and down. So did Macie, though she had no idea why we were all jumping.
“This was an anxious pregnancy though, because we were aware by now how much can go wrong and I was desperate to hang on to this baby. It was such a relief to see the heartbeat at BCRM at the six-week scan a fortnight later, and to hold our lovely Eden when she arrived in December 2015.
“Our girls are 12 and nine now, and my favourite time of the week is the simple pleasure of our regular Saturday movie night, all cuddled up on the sofa with popcorn and a family film.
“We are forever grateful to the wonderful team at BCRM and we wish all the best to them and all the patients they care for over the next 40 years and beyond.”
BCRM said it is the longest established fertility clinic in Bristol, helping people from throughout the South West and Wales with fertility treatment for both private and NHS patients. The clinic is involved in innovative research and said it has one of the best success rates with IVF and other fertility treatments in the UK.