A man who was eventually diagnosed with dementia initially laughed off one symptom – and refused to go to a doctor.
Andy, who lives near Bolton, began getting symptoms in 2021, the same year as Birds of a Feathers star Pauline Quirke was diagnosed with the disease. He was just 52 when he got young onset dementia shortly after the actress, and it was his partner, Christine, a nurse, who first noticed red flags.
Speaking on the My life with dementia podcast, the former army cadet instructor said: “Christine asked me to go to see the doctors because I was getting forgetful and I just laughed it off and went ‘ah you’re alright, I don’t need to go’ and she carried on, and on and on.”
However, Andy, realising he was unable to remember certain things, soon questioned things. He said: “I noticed I was forgetting things, like important things, and I thought you know what I am going to go to the doctors just to show up.” He did some blood tests before returning at a later date for verbal tests which he thought he “smashed” but ultimately “failed miserably”.
Speaking about how he expected the visit to go, he said: “I was going to be told by the doctor that I was just forgetful or I needed to take multivitamins or go away and stop being an idiot.” However, Christine, who is experienced in the healthcare field, feared the worst when she began to notice a second symptom – clumsiness.
She said: “My initial thoughts were for something else going on. As the forgetfulness got a bit worse and other symptoms like becoming more clumsy and things, then I was thinking it was quite possible. Obviously hoping that you are wrong and it is something reversible but I wasn’t surprised when he failed the initial tests at the doctors. Then when he was referred on to the memory assessment team I wasn’t overly shocked when they said they think it was dementia.”
Andy was “devastated” by the diagnosis and was angry that the future he had imagined with his partner was suddenly taken from him. He withdrew and turned to drink before refinding his purpose through sport and raising awareness after getting support.
Speaking about the initial shock, he said: “I was too young… I was 52. I was healthy, I ate well, and didn’t smoke. I asked what I did to deserve it – is it my fault? I’m finally happy, in a good strong relationship, good job, nice house. I didn’t know anything about dementia, didn’t have a clue, like I said I was just overcome with anger and rage.”
He now has a dementia specialist Admiral Nurse who provides help and he has accepted his condition. Andy raises awareness about how negativity will feed dementia while positivity will help push against it and slow it down.
The sports enthusiast, who has been doing iron man challenges, triathlons and marathons from an early age, uses sport to keep his mental health stable. And he wants to “prove a point that I am Andy with dementia, I am not dementia, I am still me, I am still Andy”.
He added: “Sports has become a big release for me, especially swimming. I cannot believe I am saying this because I used to hate swimming, but swimming is now the only sport I can do without a guide. Once I get in the water I can’t trip over. I can get away from anything. I used to sing to myself as I was swimming, now I don’t, I don’t even count the strokes. I literally just shut off and I can get out of the water after having a bad day and it is like I am a new me.”
The topic of dementia has become a big talking point since Pauline Quirke’s husband gave a heartbreaking update about her deteriorating condition. He revealed the Broadchurch star had taken a step back from the public eye and her colleague Maurice Gray said her condition “had progressed”.
The NHS states early symptoms of dementia include memory loss, difficulty concentrating and finding familiar tasks difficult, something Andy experienced with his sudden clumsiness. Other symptoms include struggling to follow a conversion, being confused about time and place and mood changes.
If you or someone you care about has concerns about possible dementia, you can find more information on the NHS website or arrange a meeting with your GP.