A stressed wife has confessed her frustration over her husband‘s nightly routine, which she claims is preventing her from relaxing and getting a good night’s sleep.
The NHS recommends putting away electronic devices an hour before bedtime and suggests reading a book as a more beneficial way to unwind.
However, this woman’s husband disregards these recommendations, choosing instead to spend his pre-sleep hours “scrolling” on his phone with the screen light on.
She expressed her exasperation on Mumsnet: “Every night when we go to bed, my husband will sit on his phone and scroll. For like an hour – a light on on his phone. I just feel like I can’t relax or sleep. It’s the little movements, light from the phone and knowing he’s up.”
She revealed that despite discussing it with him, his solution was to continue scrolling downstairs, resulting in him sleeping on the sofa.
The frustrated wife is considering implementing a “wants to put a no device in bed rule” but is unsure of how her husband would react. “I find it really selfish,” she vented, adding: “I wouldn’t mind 5 mins, but coming to bed with no intention and keeping the other person up feels so selfish to me.”
She further explained: “I’m just someone who can’t sleep knowing he’s awake”.
However, some commenters defended the husband’s actions. One retorted: “You don’t see that it’s also quite selfish for you to impose a no device in bed rule because YOU don’t like it?”
Opinions were divided over her stance, with some supporting her dislike for mindless scrolling and valuing the pre-sleep chat as a couple. “That would annoy me. I hate mindless scrolling. I also really value the time when my partner and I go to bed where we can chat together and drift off to sleep.”
Conversely, another voiced: “I don’t think you’re being unreasonable not to want to scroll on your phone yourself or to expect him to keep the light turned right down, but you’re being unreasonable to expect him to act exactly as you do.”
Comments also touched on the respect for autonomy within the relationship: “Laying down ‘rules’ while in an adult relationship isn’t, I fear, overly reasonable. This sentence, particularly, is daft; ‘I’m just someone who can’t sleep knowing he’s awake’.”
One person suggested a compromise: “Could your husband relax in another room until he’s ready to sleep? I can see how the light would be annoying while trying to fall asleep.”
The nature of the activity also came under scrutiny, with queries about whether a book or Kindle would provoke the same reaction.
Another strongly suggested alternative habits for bedtime: “Well, correct me if I’m wrong, beds are for sleeping. If he wants to scroll, he should do it downstairs.”