Dean Stonehouse, a father of two who was battling Stage 4 cancer, made a vow to find ways to assist other families in similar situations. Despite his own fight with the disease, he remained focused on helping others.
At the age of 38, in May last year, he began feeling what his wife Amy described as “a bit under the weather“. His fatigue worsened during the May half term holiday, but it wasn’t until he collapsed at the end of the month that serious concerns were raised.
They were unprepared for the devastating diagnosis that followed. Amy recalls: “Dean was taken in for tests, but we still didn’t think it was that serious. When the doctors came back to say that it was cancer, we just couldn’t take it in. He had had no real symptoms, just felt a bit under the weather.
“Right from the start he said he was going to fight it. There is no history of cancer in the family. Both sets of Dean’s grandparents are still alive. He was physically fit and able, and always had a zest for life. He helped coach the girls’ at Thornhill football club, and even when he was unable to walk or drive he got involved. It was a horrendous shock. It is something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. We were told straightaway that it was Stage 4, but they were never able to find the primary source. They tried to find it because it would have helped determine the treatment, but they just couldn’t find it.”
Dean, who moved to Cardiff for university, died just four months after his diagnosis. The family is still reeling from their loss, but they are determined to fulfil one of his last wishes and are organising a special event to raise money for the family room at Velindre Hospital, which provides comfort and support to families during hard times, reports Wales Online.
Dean was diagnosed with cancer at the end of May last year and began treatment almost instantly at the Whitchurch-based cancer hospital centre. During some overnight stays, his children Sophia and Leila, aged 13 and 11 respectively when their doting father was diagnosed, could visit and make use of the family room facilities.
Amy, the wife of Dean, shared: “It is a fantastic room, and it was great for us to spend time as a family and was less frightening for the girls than the ward. Dean’s parents and siblings were also able to use the room and while it is a phenomenal space we could see that it would benefit from some more equipment. Dean liked to play the PS4 with his brother and it was a pretty old and battered set. Dean would say that when he got better he would do something to raise money to buy new things for the room to help out other families. Some of the digital equipment were out of date and he really wanted to help others.
“Dean fought every step of the way. He would say ‘we are going fight this’ and I genuinely didn’t think what happened would. He was always thinking of others and was the best dad and husband. Even when he was really ill, he said that he wanted to get better and walk up Pen-y-fan. He didn’t get to carry out his wish, so we are going to do it for him.”
Dean loved climbing Pen-Y-Fan with his wife and daughters on day trips, so they felt it was the fitting place for a fundraiser to be held.
“I know Dean would be very happy and proud that we are continuing to do this. We loved walking Pen y Fan as a family,” Amy said.
“We have had so much support already with more than 50 friends and family coming from all over the UK to take part. It will be a very special walk as we remember Dean and support a cause close to our hearts”.
Amy added: “It will allow Velindre to continue to provide hope for the future and create an even better family room that Dean wanted. The equipment will all be the type that can be moved to the new hospital when it is ready. Michelle who runs the family room has also asked the girls to get involved in fixing up the room, which they are really looking forward to.”
The family are using this fundraising effort to help cope with the shock of their loss. Amy had recently visited Asda to purchase two single roses for the girls on Valentine’s Day, a tradition started by Dean.
She said: “He was only diagnosed at the end of May and died at the beginning of October. We met at university and had been together for 20 years, we love him always and forever and miss him so so much, but we are determined to do this for him.
“Having to tell the girls was one of the worst things I have ever had to do. Shortly after that we had the girls’ birthdays, and then there was Christmas. I had to get the girls the flowers for Valentine’s Day because that is something their dad always did. It has been so hard, some days it is hard to face the day and the emotions can hit you out of the blue, but we have so much support from family and friends. My work has been fantastic and Dean’s colleague’s at Mon Motors in Newport and Cwmbran have been there for us all. We just all want to make sure that Dean’s wish can come true.”