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My partner says I’ve written too many Valentine’s Day columns.
My feeble defence: Shakespeare wrote several romantic sonnets. Classic: “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?”
They were brilliantly composed in the very early 1600s. February love columns 400 years later are not quite up to the Shakespearean standard.
And Canadian weather this month is not quite comparable to a summer’s day … nor to a spring’s.
Wise partner Nancy says I’ve hit the limit for romantic ravings about us loving pair of septuagenarians. Shall I steal from Shakespeare and compare her to a Canadian mid-February day? Nah!
Nancy’s suggestion: “Why don’t you write about your hats? They’re a subject Shakespeare didn’t tackle.”
Nor have many others. What does one write about the garment you stick on your head? They look great in photos. But hat writings?
Theodor Geisel, known famously as Dr. Seuss, tackled the subject. He wrote The Cat in the Hat — an eccentric feline visiting two children who are home alone — in 1957. The original movie version was in 1971. The next was in 2003.
A great book and two popular movies would strongly suggest that I not write about cats, hats and kids.
Also, Dr. Seuss was a genius.And I’m allergic to cats. Plus my kid is an adult. So I’ll write about hats … the non-feline variety.
As a teenager a long, long time ago, I was a rare hat-wearing student. Many fellow male teens in the early 1960s had their heads greased, coiffed and hatless. Not me. I was a non-glammed putz in high school. And Montreal winters were severe. I had a long bus-and-walk trip to Baron Byng High School, where the legendary Mordecai Richler probably had great hair and didn’t wear a hat.
I had one hatless classmate. Brian had greased hair … and a short walk to school.
Fast-forward to my 60s and 70s. Winter was still cold. And my hair was getting thinnish and combed-over. I had a succession of pet dogs with whom I had to experience the cold outdoors. The solution: A series of tuques that covered my head and ears. I’ve been dealing with winter that way ever since.
My head coverings have evolved into hats that celebrate my favourite sports teams. I have tuques with the colours of the red-white-and-blue Montreal Canadiens, the black-and-yellow Pittsburgh Steelers and my beloved red Liverpool soccer club.
They keep me warm. They make me happy (when my teams win). And I look like a sports-obsessed septuagenarian.
My closet reveals I’m a hat-loving freak.
The list includes a beret … and not just an ordinary beret. Mine is imported from France and was obtained from Henri Henri, Montreal’s most prestigious — and incredibly varied — hat store.
My Henri Henri shopping has included tweed hats imported from England and Ireland, and a fedora that makes me look like a Jewish Frank Sinatra.
The sales staff is excellent, including the guy who told me a hat I’d tried on looked bad on me and shouldn’t be purchased.
I bought well. And now I’m the cat with a whole lot of hats.
I hope Feb. 14 is a happily romantic day for those who are celebrating … which I hope is almost everyone.
Get your sweetie some flowers. Write a mushy greeting card. Concoct a yummy dinner.
And if you’re alone on this occasion, remember the good times and celebrate the memories.
As written in my earlier rant, this is not the greatest weather month of the year. We’ve enjoyed the Christmas and New Year celebrations. And winter ain’t what it used to be.
This shortest month of the year is not the sunniest or warmest in chilly Canada. But mid-February might be an occasion to look forward to spring. Snow is diminishing. Cold isn’t as frigid as previous months.
Don’t don your shorts and sandals just yet. But the best Canadian weather is on its way. Be happy.
— Mike Boone writes the Life in the 70s column. [email protected]