If you have played any sport at any level you will no doubt have come across the petulant pantomime villain that is the team ‘yapper’.
Bruno Fernandes comes to mind as the archetypal complainer, with arms flailing up and down like he is trying to land a plane, his head bent backwards, eyes fixed on the sky as though he is looking to the heavens above, asking why the gods that be have forsaken him — and all because he thought that his shot took a slight touch off a defender and Manchester United thus should have been awarded a corner kick.
The injustice is almost too much to bear for the sportspeople whose front teeth have moved progressively forward over time after years of constant tongue tutting and the words ‘come on ref’ have become an automatic response, leaving their mouths before their brains have even registered an actual opinion on the matter.
Gaelic football has its fair share of bemoaners, blamers and bewailers and with the new laws around dissent having been introduced last weekend, some of these eye-rolling shoulder shruggers have now entered their very own horror movie.
The film ‘The Quiet Place’ is probably the most apt example, as actor John Krasinski plays the role of a heroic father fighting for his family’s survival by living in a world infested by man-eating monsters who can only locate you through sound.
This means that keeping your mouth shut and never making any noise is the only way to ensure your safety and avoid the ultimate fate — and Gaelic football has become a bit like that.
Obviously, it isn’t as dramatic, but you have to understand what goes on in the heads of passionate players who only know one way to express their feelings, or share just how deeply they care about their performance, and their team’s result.
Whether or not the match official is correct, if he says that you have committed a foul and you so much as utter a word back to him, then the ball is now brought 50 metres towards your own goal.
So now, the level of grievance that the footballer feels has just doubled, and frustration levels hit boiling point — but that is the new game.
Fans don’t want to see their stars take flight because of all the arm-flapping that they are doing; they want to see them take responsibility, play the game fairly and try their very best to correct any mistakes that they may have made.
However, there are certain nuances around the new dissent and delay rules that need to be ironed out.
For example, Derry’s Declan Cassidy kicked the ball away from a Tyrone defender when the Red Hands were awarded a free and so the ball was brought forward 50 metres by referee David Coldrick, so instead of it being a set piece from a non-threatening position, it turned into a handy score for Malachy O’Rourke’s men.
That may seem harsh, but it will soon stop players from slowing down the game, and the sport will be better for it.
But, in the same match, Diarmuid Baker was blown up for overcarrying the ball, and because he didn’t hand the ball straight back to the Tyrone player, the free was again moved 50 metres forward.
In this situation, the reason Baker over-carried the ball was because he was on the ground and couldn’t get up to solo or bounce and eventually it was spilled from his grasp — then because he couldn’t get up quickly enough, retrieve the ball and hand it to his opponent, he was punished further.
Peter Canavan was working as a pundit for RTE last weekend and said that he was not a fan of handing the ball back to your opponent, suggesting that leaving it on the ground would be fair enough.
The Football Rules Committee have stated that they will amend or remove rules if they feel they are causing too many problems, and that could certainly be one that needs to be examined further.
Nonetheless, with respect for referees being one of the goals that these enhancements are trying to achieve, then players need to become more like Krasinski than Fernandes, and there will need to be more fingers on lips, than fingers waved in faces.
Anton Tohill gives Derry some much-needed depth
The inclusion of Anton Tohill in Derry’s midfield last week is a clear indicator that Paddy Tally has looked at the problems his predecessors faced and is attempting to remedy them.
On the surface, the Oak Leafers have the two midfield positions nailed down with Conor Glass and Brendan Rogers forming a duo that could compete against the very best in the country on their day.
When you draw up the best starting XV possible from Tally’s squad, it’s hard to see any version that doesn’t have the Watty Graham’s Glen man and Slaughtneil star starting together in the middle of the park.
However, as Mickey Harte knows better than most, you don’t always have your best starting XV available to you and last season when Donegal put them out of the Ulster Championship, the wheels seemed to fall off completely, as injuries and suspensions started to pile up.
Padraig McGrogan picked up a serious knee injury that ruled him out for the season; Conor Doherty missed a number of matches with a knock, as did Eoin McEvoy and then Gareth McKinless was suspended after an incident against Galway, and suddenly, the whole team was shuffled and moved about.
Rogers was played in centre back, Ciaran McFaul had to be tried out in defence as well, the midfield had lost its natural shape and they were constantly chasing themselves for the rest of the campaign.
Tohill never got a look in under Rory Gallagher or Harte, but Tally has brought him in, and even though he isn’t going to be a guaranteed starter in midfield come Championship, the new manager was willing to start him there to get him some much needed experience at this level.
It means that if and when he is needed in the summer he will be sharp and ready.
The Swatragh man is frighteningly tall, great in the air, clever and very athletic so his addition can be seen as nothing other than a plus for Derry.
Absence of Jack McCaffrey and Paul Mannion is another blow for Dublin
Dublin manager Dessie Farrell has already had to contend with the fact that James McCarthy and Brian Fenton won’t be available for selection this season, but his woes were worsened when it was confirmed that neither Jack McCaffrey or Paul Mannion will be back as well.
McCaffrey is a generational type player with blistering speed unlike any other in Gaelic football. With injuries holding him back in recent years, the wing back had more of an impact role from the bench in the last couple of seasons.
Mannion however, is one of the very best forwards in the game, and an automatic starter, kicking five points and winning Man of the Match in the 2023 All-Ireland Final.
The Kilmacud Crokes star is only in his early 30s, and had already stepped away from the panel to take a sabbatical between 2020 and 2022, so fans were hoping that he would still be fresh and motivated for another year.
His absence only further weakens this Dublin panel, and although Stephen Cluxton has boosted spirits by announcing that he is staying on, there is no escaping the fact that Farrell has another two very big pairs of shoes to fill and little time to do it.