A woman who started drinking at 13 and says she was ‘brainwashed; into thinking alcohol was good finally quit after being diagnosed with serious illnesses. Suzi Payton says she never thought about her health in her 20s when she often had hangovers that would last two or three days. I t was when she was diagnosed with fatty liver and fatty pancreas that she realised it had gone too far.
Suzi began drinking as a mechanism to fit in with her friends. She is neurodivergent and believes her undiagnosed ADHD, autism and Tourette’s played a role in developing a dependency on alcohol. “I’m neurodivergent, and I didn’t know that growing up,” Suzi said. “When I was 12, my friends would be smoking and drinking, and I thought ‘I’d never do that’.
“But by the age of about 13, I started discovering alcohol in the cupboards and sneaking it at family parties, and finding it very funny and getting rather drunk. I had undiagnosed ADHD and my brain was always searching for stimulation. And in the Western world, alcohol is the thing you do, isn’t it?
“You go to parties, you drink. You go to a funeral, you drink. So it was just a natural progression, and I just did more and more binge drinking as a teenager. As I got to my twenties, I was binge drinking, having two or three day hangovers, laughing it off, not really questioning it, and not really thinking about my poor health.”
Suzi’s drinking continued throughout her life: though she didn’t drink every day, she would often binge drink on the weekends and have to deal with horrific hangovers. During the COVID pandemic, the drinking reached a crescendo, and she found herself reaching for a drink more often. A couple of years ago, Suzi began experiencing some digestive problems.
After several test and scans, she was told she had fatty liver, fatty pancreas, damage to her gut lining and chronic pancreatitis, and would need to take enzymes for the rest of her life. “That was the wake up call when I stopped drinking,” Suzi, who is a comedian and ADHD and autism speaker, reveals. I’m so happy and proud that I’ve stopped, but it’s been one of the hardest things I think I’ve ever had to do. I put my health first. We haven’t got long on this earth anyway, and I want to make the most of every second. I’m now 10 months alcohol free.”
To help her quit, Suzi read two books that changed her life: Kick the Drink Easily, by Jason Vale, and This Naked Mind, by Annie Grace.
“The messaging in both books is that alcohol is a drug, of course, just like any other drug,” Suzi, from Brighton, explains. “It’s just sad that it’s a socially acceptable drug, and it talks about not only the physical damage alcohol does, but also how we’re brainwashed and conditioned into thinking alcohol is helping us.
“Throughout my twenties, I was quite socially anxious and very hyperactive. So in a social situation, I would be bored, so I’d drink more to numb that feeling of boredom. On reflection, the reasons I was drinking were to self medicate, to calm my ADHD brain, but also to dull those anxious feelings of awkwardness or not knowing what to say next.
“I put those feelings down to being neurodivergent, because these are all challenges that neurodivergent people face. I didn’t want to be the sort of person that can’t be around alcohol, but of course I have nothing against people that are like that. I wanted to deprogram and decondition my mind so that I no longer had the desire to drink. I knew that was where the key to freedom lay.
“I had a few sessions with a sobriety coach as well to talk these things through. I’ve talked it through with my immediate family, my wife, my sister, and my coach. So I’ve had a lot of support around me. It’s been an amazing journey, and I’m just so grateful that the health problems came along and gave me the kick up the bum I needed to stop putting poison into my body.”
Suzi says that in the 10 months since she quit drinking, she feels better than ever. She’s lost two stone and has more energy, as well as feeling calmer and more comfortable in her own skin.
“I have so much more energy now to do nice things,” Suzi adds. “My mind feels so much clearer. I’m more in the moment, but also more excited for the future.
“I’ve got energy and I’ve started swimming regularly at an outdoor pool in Brighton, which is just amazing. On Sunday mornings sometimes I’ll get up and go swimming, and that’s something I never would have done, because I would have been hungover and spent the day in bed.
“My general health and wellbeing is off the scale. For anyone who wants to quit drinking, join communities. There are quite a few on Instagram and Facebook that really highlight the joys of not having alcohol in your life. I also really recommend those two books, and working with a sobriety coach too. My journey has taken me a lot of time, reflection, and support from other people, and also really working on my health.
“Because, of course, if you haven’t got your health, then you haven’t really got anything. I’m an ambitious person that has a lot of work still to do, so I really looked at my relationship with myself, with my health, and I learnt to love who I am and know that I am worthy of a great life. The biggest message is learning to love who you are, and knowing that alcohol doesn’t make you any more lovable, it doesn’t make you any more worthy.
“I don’t say ‘giving up alcohol’, I say ‘being alcohol free’, because I haven’t given up, I’ve gained so much. The benefits far outweigh that uncomfortableness that you go through in the first stages. The benefits on the other side are just amazing.”