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Joking about your sex life, even while in the middle of it, is actually a good thing.
Couples who can laugh at themselves during intimate moments are more likely to be satisfied with them, according to a recent study.
The study, published in the Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, noted that while research shows how humour relates to relationship satisfaction, it noted that “little is known about couples’ use of sexual humour.”
There were 196 participants who were in relationships that had lasted at least four months, though the average was more than two years long. Most of those surveyed were heterosexual women with an average age of 20 years old.
The results overwhelmingly found that positive jokes about their sex lives led to overall increased satisfaction in their romantic relationships.
Dating and relationship expert Dr. Callisto Adams agreed, saying she believes a sense of humour is “like glue for relationships” and keeps things fun, real and connected.
“I’ve always found that humour makes everything better, especially in relationships,” Adams told the Toronto Sun.
“Humour makes things feel lighter and more natural. It turns awkward moments into funny memories, which can bring couples closer and make intimacy feel easier.”
The study cited “inside jokes/rituals, physical humour (and) smoothing over awkward moments” as examples of hilarity with those surveyed saying those positive instances offer “increased comfort, fun and closeness” in a relationship.
“More frequent use of positive relational humour (by themself and their partner) was associated with more frequent and more positively valenced sexual humour, whereas more frequent negative relational humour use by partner predicted lower relationship and sexual satisfaction,” the study said.
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Similarly, the researchers found that when it comes to sexual satisfaction, “More positively valenced sexual humour predicted sexual satisfaction over and above relationship satisfaction and relational humour.”
The study also shared advice for those who struggle to find a level of comfort with their partner during intimate moments.
“Sexual humour may help mitigate discomfort with potentially awkward situations and facilitate individual comfort as well as connection with a partner,” researchers said.
Adams noted that, “Laughing together creates trust and comfort. When you can joke about private things, it makes the connection deeper and helps both people feel safe to open up.”
She added that in her experience those who take themselves too serious during sex end up having a worse time.
“Without humour, things can feel stiff and overly serious,” she said. “Playfulness makes everything more fun and keeps the connection alive.”
As for what comes first — sexual satisfaction or comfort between two people — Adams believes comfort is key.
“When you feel secure with someone, it’s easier to let go and enjoy yourself, which leads to better intimacy.”