When I was in my younger years – which was around 40 years ago now – making and sharing resolutions on New year’s Eve was all part of the annual celebrations and tradition.
For some, it might be losing weight. Others might be vowing to cut down on boozing. Many were vowing to take up a new hobby.
It often became a running joke that most, if not all resolutions, made would be broken by the end of January – leaving us feeling despondent and deflated.
There’s now a lot of information and data out there which indicates most people give up their New Year resolutions on the second Friday in January. It’s now known as ‘Quitters Day’.
Intrigued about this I recently ran my own poll via social media of which 4,000 people responded. I was surprised to see 77 per cent of people say they do not make resolutions, while just 23 per cent say they do.
It underlined what I see again and again in my work as a counsellor, author and wellbeing expert – New Year’s resolutions don’t work. And the best one you could keep this December is to not make one at all.
But why don’t they work?
Within my work, I think the main reason is that people set unrealistic expectations. This puts pressure on them before they even begin. If the goal is not attainable, it can lead to frustration and lack of motivation, which eventually leads to eventually giving up.
Many resolutions are often vague and not thought through properly, ‘I want to get fit and eat healthier’ for example covers a wide array of possibilities and a multitude of different ways.
Maybe ‘I am going to walk for 30 minutes every day and plan my meals a bit more rather than eating so many takeouts’ would be better?
Outside pressure is another reason for people not achieving their goals. sometimes the resolutions made are from societal pressure and social media rather than from their own personal desire, making it harder to stick to them.
One of my followers recently pointed out that ‘January is a dark, hard and miserable month for many so why add unnecessary pressure when you do not need to?’ I agree. Another said, ‘Why wait till January – why not do it straight away?’ – Also a good point.
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For those who are planning to ignore the data and make a resolution, my advice would be to make your goals clear and specific.
Write them down and leave them somewhere you will constantly remind yourself of what you are doing. More importantly, it ensures you know what you expect of yourself.
Create a realistic plan for the month, set achievable deadlines, maybe have someone that you check in with regularly that you are accountable to, this will help you to stay on track.
Remember to be flexible with yourself, setbacks are inevitable and will happen, so please don’t be too hard on yourself, adjust the plan to fit with your life and carry on, remembering that small steps make one big step.
Staying motivated can be difficult when the days are dark and the weather is colder. But one of my favourite sayings is: ‘When you feel like giving up, remember why you started’. There is so much wisdom in this quote.
I hope you and your families have a wonderful Christmas.