Said the famous sociocultural expert, with typical insight and perspicacity: “I don’t like parties past 2 a.m. Then it’s all losers and weirdos.”
The expert, of course, is socialite Paris Hilton, who knows whereof she speaks. Her wisdom about losers applies, with particularity, to one Justin Pierre James Trudeau, Canada’s 23rd prime minister and — the way things are looking — the guy who is going to reduce the once-great Liberal Party of Canada to extinction.
Paris knows losers when she sees them, and Justin is a big one: He’s stayed way, way too long at the party.
And that’s why, when crafting a year-end column about political losers, it’s pretty hard to come up with one in which Justin Trudeau doesn’t fill every single spot. That’s because the Canadian Liberal Party leader is concluding 2024 in worse shape than just about any politico in Western democracy.
He’s the No. 1 Loser, but there are other contenders for the list. Herewith and hereupon, here they are:
Justin Trudeau: He survived the Aga Khan, Grope-gate, Blackface, WE, SNC-Lavalin and innumerable scandals. He survived myriad broken promises, too, from Indigenous reconciliation to balanced budgets to electoral reform. He got elected or re-elected every single time (way to go, Canadians).
But now, finally and praise the Lord, it feels like the Boy Blunder’s goose finally cooked: He is ending 2024 as the year’s top loser because his cult’s second-in-command, Chrystia Freeland, decided she would drink no more of the Liberal-red Kool-Aid. Trudeau now faces a full-on caucus revolt, and a country that finds him revolting. He’s done like dinner and will leave — which means that Brian Lilley and several others will have to buy me dinner!
Kamala Harris: This writer volunteered for her, full disclosure, and thought she had a shot at winning. After all, Harris had swiftly raised US$1.5 billion, which has never happened before — and she needed just 24 hours to take complete control of the Democratic Party after President Joe Biden took a pass on re-election. (Which had also never happened before.)
Harris had Taylor Swift, Bruce Springsteen and Beyonce in her corner, and just about every newspaper editorial board, too. But Harris ultimately fell victim to the same reason Hillary Clinton lost eight years earlier: Voters didn’t really know who she was. Donald Trump defined her before she could define herself, on the cost of living and the border. Game, set, match.
Iran, Hamas, Hezbollah et al.: Yes, we know: Iran is a country, not a politician. Hamas and Hezbollah are listed terrorist entities, not political parties. But all of them end 2024 in far, far worse shape than they started it.
Hamas is a mere shadow of its former self in Gaza, Hezbollah is in retreat in Lebanon, and Iran has lost the clout it once enjoyed across much of the Middle East. Credit for all this belongs almost entirely to the generals of the Israel Defense Forces (IDF), who have used exploding pagers, precision airstrikes and super-smart strategy to decimate the leadership of Iran’s Satanic proxies — and military muscle to corner Iran’s ayatollahs.
Peace hasn’t been declared yet, but peace seems closer than it did a year ago — because Iran and its axis of evil have lost what they started.
Matt Gaetz: Along with possessing the most punchable face in the United States, the former congressman ends 2024 with the worst reputation of any politician on Earth: Just this week, a bipartisan report was issued finding that Gaetz is a pig of the lowest order.
Concluded the Committee on Ethics of the U.S. House of Representatives: “The Committee determined there is substantial evidence that Representative Gaetz violated House Rules and other standards of conduct prohibiting prostitution, statutory rape, illicit drug use, impermissible gifts, special favours or privileges, and obstruction of Congress.”
What is most troubling, however, is that Gaetz was the first choice of President-elect Donald Trump to become attorney general of the United States. That says a lot more about Trump than it does about Gaetz, the loser.
Incumbent governments everywhere: 2024 was the worst year ever for incumbents. Ever. Across Western democracy, incumbents either lost or lost ground (the only notable exception: Little old Nova Scotia, where the ruling Tories increased their majority in the provincial legislature).
The reasons why are three-fold, and are the same reasons Trudeau, Harris and many others are in the loser category: Soaring cost of living, resentment about illegal migrants, and seething anger. Folks everywhere are in a bad, bad mood, and are taking it out on political incumbents and political elites. Hell hath no fury like voters circa 2024.
There you go, folks, the big losers of 2024. There are plenty of others, but we’ve run out of room.
So, Happy New Year to Paris Hilton — and everyone who stayed too long at the party!