Canada’s more than 55,000 postal workers are on strike this week. It wasn’t too long ago that a postal strike was as devastating as a major rail or port strike; every passing day that the mail wasn’t being delivered meant a noticeable hit to the country’s GDP.

But this is not really the case this time around. While the strike has had outsized impacts on rural communities and home-based businesses who relied on Canada Post to ship their wares, for millions the only noticeable effect has been a lack of flyers in the mail slot.

In Dear Diary, the National Post satirically re-imagines a week in the life of a newsmaker. This week, Tristin Hopper takes a journey inside the thoughts of a striking Canadian postal worker.

Monday

We did not want to bring this darkness upon Canada, but our hand was forced. We postal workers assume the immense physical risks of our profession in the full knowledge that we made a solemn oath to this country. We are the thread that knits this great Dominion together. Without us, the country dissolves almost immediately into isolated and feuding regions, untampered by the civilizing effect of mail. And we do this work humbly; we do not demand the accolades, titles or statues that are arguably our right.

All we ask is for another raise above the rate of inflation, paid meals and breaks, more sick days and a free cookie on all the major Abrahamic religious holidays, including Naw-Rúz and Candlemas.

Tuesday

As I strode away from the picket line to do a run for another round of caramel macchiatos, an uneasy feeling overtook me. Vehicle traffic remained heavy. The lights remained on in the major banks. Shops were doing brisk business. The wheels of commerce didn’t seem affected at all by the absence of the Canada Post mail carrier.

I moved about the streets as if invisible; bystanders saw my “CUPW on strike” sandwich board, but they seemed not to care. Where were the harried small business owners begging us to return to our stations? The plutocrats showering us with contempt from their gleaming Mercedes? The janitors, cab drivers and other members of the working class giving us knowing nods in silent acknowledgment that our struggle is not a selfish bid for rent-seeking, but a noble defence of all working peoples.

Wednesday

Carrying the mail gives one a lot of time to think, and my thoughts stray often into how all this might be improved. Number one; door-to-door delivery seems inefficient given the rapidly diminishing volume of mail. At some addresses I’m delivering less than two official letters per week. Most of what I carry is just flyers and promotional mailings. It seems like a lot of this inefficiency could be curbed by delivering mail to centralized postal boxes, similar to what is used in apartment buildings and rural areas.

Number two, I often encounter independent package delivery services during my rounds. While package delivery was once our primary purview, these services are able to offer more competitive conditions and prices — even without the legacy benefits of nationwide delivery infrastructure. If this is true, it is clear we are falling short.

I haven’t looked into the fine print of our strike demands, but I assume these are all on there. After all, who is more invested in the efficiency and profitability of Canada Post than its front-line employees? We, more than anyone, should be working to defend the fiscal sustainability of this great enterprise.

Thursday

Tuesday’s experience was so jarring that I decided to fetch today’s macchiatos using UberEats. And I must say, it was very convenient: You dial in the entire order on a user-friendly app, which also arranges payment electronically — the driver just hands you the order and is on their way again.

What’s more, UberEats uses a flexible contractor model. I assumed that the drivers were all just full-time staff who drove a set circuit around the city every single day, regardless of whether there was any food to deliver. But no; they work their own hours and are paid per delivery, meaning they are able to work the job in addition to other pursuits, such as picking up the kids from school or running a home business.

My thoughts strayed briefly to my one-time dream of running a niche service selling ironic screen-printed T-shirts, but I successfully repressed them. The secure paycheque and benefits of carrying mail was always the right option and I have no regrets.

Friday

Today, I used both UberEats and SkiptheDishes to order in not only coffees, but lunch and two snacks for the rest of the picket line. We couldn’t agree on Subway or Tim Hortons, so we just did both on a single order! One of the other picketers complained of her hands getting numb, so we arranged an Amazon delivery of winter gloves. We made the order at 4:55 p.m. last night and the truck was there at 9 a.m. the next morning.

I had thought this strike meant I was going to miss out on my regular delivery of Cat Fancy, but a colleague showed me how you can just read it online. Delivery is instantaneous to your smartphone! And it was similar with my pending credit card. Although the physical card remains stranded in a postal sorting facility somewhere, this proved no barrier to my paying for our various deliveries using electronic means.

All this innovation has brought Canada such convenience and prosperity, and vastly expanded the scope of what our people and economy can accomplish. I do hope our union negotiators remember this. In a country working with such dynamism and efficiency, it should be the easiest thing in the world to find the money to significantly boost the compensation of the employees of an increasingly irrelevant Crown Corporation hemorrhaging billions upon billions of dollars.