A disabled man sent £10,000 of his disability benefits to a scammer posing as his “celebrity crush” – a porn star. Ben McEvansoneya, 36, started receiving messages on Instagram from someone pretending to be adult actress Nicolette Shea.
He was feeling lonely and suffering from low self-esteem after a recent break up – so “just wanted someone to talk to,” he says. But things progressed and Ben and the fake Nicolette started talking about starting a serious relationship and building a life together.
The scammer even said they wanted to move to the UK to be with Ben. A couple of months in, ‘Nicolette’ started asking for money – claiming that she needed it for funeral arrangements after her dad’s death. Ben, who had his right arm and both feet amputated after suffering meningitis and septicemia as a baby, sent the scammer around £200 each month – all from his disability benefits.
He occasionally sent larger one-off sums too and estimates that in the year the “relationship” lasted he was scammed out of £10,000. Ben eventually started to notice the “red flags” and cut off communications with the scammer. But despite contacting the police, he says, he hasn’t been able to get his money back.
The real Nicolette is a 37-year-old porn star from California. Ben said: “I feel humiliated by it now but at the time I thought it was real. I was in a low place and had low self-esteem. I guess I was just naive. I was lonely and I wanted someone to talk to. It really was very traumatic because I had to deal with the emotional impacts and the financial impacts.
“I’m disabled and so rely on benefits and the money I was sending meant I was struggling to live properly. I actually had a nervous breakdown.”
Ben says he and ‘Nicolette’ were messaging for around a year. But whenever he asked for a phone or a video call, she would say no. And then when he started seeing articles online about scammers he grew suspicious.
Ben said: “I noticed that they would have an excuse every time I asked for a phone call or video call. And I actually started coming across articles online about scams. So I just cottoned onto the fact that that was the situation.”
Due to the stress of what happened, Ben moved out of his home in Bradford, West Yorkshire and back to Taunton, Somerset, where he grew up – so he could “start his life again”. He says he contacted the police about the scam and they launched an investigation – but the scammer couldn’t be found.
“I confronted the scammer but they obviously denied it and then the conversation went dead,” Ben said. “When I spoke to police, they told me that these scams are happening a lot – particularly romance and celebrity ones. These scammers prey on the vulnerable and unfortunately, I was one of those people at the time.
“It’s sad that people take advantage of other people’s good nature.”
Although he is “embarrassed” about what happened, Ben wants to share his story to stop other people falling for similar scams. He said: “It’s embarrassing but I hope I can help other people become more aware of things like this. There are tell-tale signs like refusing to have a video call or asking for money. These are all red flags.
“I just didn’t notice them at the time.”