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Anyone who’s ever dated a man has probably, at some point, in a moment of frustration, jokingly told their friends that they’re giving up the male species.
However, for the women of the 4B movement, a life without men is more than just a passing sentiment.
Originating in South Korea, 4B (or “Four Nos”) is a feminist movement that boycotts men as a way for women to reclaim agency over their bodies and lives. It’s centred around four principles: Bihon (no marriage to men), bichulsan (no childbirth), biyeonae (no dating men) and bisekseu (no sex with men).
The movement, which began as a reaction to sexism and gender-based violence in Korea, has since gained traction in the United States following the re-election of Donald Trump.
For some women in the U.S., the 2024 election felt like a critical moment for the future of reproductive rights. Trump — who took credit for overturning Roe v. Wade during his previous term — cast a shadow of uncertainty over bodily autonomy. Google searches for 4B have surged over the past week as women seek ways to regain a sense of empowerment amidst political upheaval. If the movement continues to gain momentum, it could have far-reaching effects, including reshaping relationship and social dynamics.
While 4B may seem extreme to some, staying single might benefit women. A new study from the University of Toronto found that single women, on average, report higher levels of satisfaction with relationship status, life satisfaction, sexual satisfaction, and a lower desire to need a partner–and overall, they are happier in singlehood than their male counterparts.
This is in line with many of the conversations I’ve had with friends recently. None of us are ready to remove ourselves entirely from heterosexual relationships. We’re enjoying focusing on other things like friendships, travel, and family without the distraction and emotional labor of dating. Focusing on these areas feels more fulfilling, especially as life becomes busier. After all, my best friend or sister isn’t likely to ghost me.
Dr. Jess O’Reilly, Tinder’s Canadian relationship expert, is also not surprised by the U of T study results. She explains that they echo findings from Tinder’s 2023 “Year in Swipe” and “Future of Dating” reports, indicating a substantial shift towards self-prioritization and independence amongst Gen Z and Millennial women.
O’Reilly says there are several reasons single women are happier than their male peers. First, women have more of a support network outside of romantic relationships. “Research suggests that women’s friendships, for example, tend to be more intimate, supportive, and satisfying. Previous research also reveals that while men are more likely to draw support from their partners, women draw more support from friendships,” says O’Reilly.
Secondly, O’Reilly points out that women tend to do more of the unpaid labour in heterosexual relationships.
“The U of T study suggests that single women outside of hetero relationships often feel relieved from traditional (often unbalanced) household roles, which contributes to a sense of independence and satisfaction,” she says. O’Reilly adds, “Tinder’s data backs this, showing that single Gen Z women value independence in all areas of life, with 51% of young singles balancing dating around personal goals and routines instead of conforming to traditional roles.”
There’s also the question of sexual satisfaction rates in relationships and how they’re often lower for women than men.
As O’Reilly explains, “Women may find solo sex more pleasurable than partnered sex in general (regardless of relationship status), meaning that single women may report higher sexual satisfaction rates.”
But is staying single the answer? Not necessarily.
Relationships of all kinds benefit from self-awareness and independence.
“Rather than forgoing romantic relations entirely, I recommend engaging in consistent reflections on your relational values,” says O’Reilly.
She encourages people to ask themselves a few simple questions. “What makes a relationship satisfying and meaningful?” and “What are the practical and emotional components of a relationship that matter most to you?”
Getting clear on these questions can help you find connections that feel supportive, nurturing, and aligned with your values.
Lastly, if you’re a man who dates women, get curious about their gender experiences. Ask questions, listen actively, and educate yourself on how to support the women in your life better.
O’Reilly says, “Whatever your intentions for relationships may be–whether you’re looking for a long-term love or a casual encounter–knowing your values can help you to feel at ease and confident when dating.”