We have a new candidate for airline passenger from hell.
Things sure seemed fishy before a flight from Anchorage to Seattle even took off, according to a fragrant flyer’s unlucky seatmate, who detailed the gag-inducing escapades last month in a pair of viral videos on TikTok.
The TikToker, who goes by the handle allyjaksen, said she and another seatmate were on either side of their three-seat row and hoping for some extra elbow room, but eventually smelled trouble coming down the aisle on the Alaska Airlines flight.
“This guy was literally in the textbook for someone you do not want to sit next to on a plane,” says Ally, who adds she was “thoroughly traumatized” during her introduction to the bile high club.
“This guy shows up and sits down – immediately I’m hit with a wall of smell. But, like, whatever, we’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. I’m sure I’ve smelled weird on planes before, to be honest with you. Everyone’s got, like, a stinky day.”
It didn’t take long for her feelings to change about Mr. Classy, who proceeded to make himself a snack after takeoff.
“Then not 10 minutes into the flight taking off, he whips out the can of tuna,” Ally says. “And I catch it out the corner of my eye and I’m like, ‘That better not be what I think it is.’
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“So he’s got the can of tuna and he also has a roll of Ritz crackers and he’s making himself little f—ed up tuna hors d’oeuvres, so this is horrific.”
Things only got worse, Ally says, after she took a nap.
“I wake up and there’s a new smell,” she says, “and I see I’ve missed the drink cart or whatever. And I notice that tuna man has ordered a Bloody Mary.
“Hey, listen, I love tuna and Bloody Marys, but there’s this waft in the air of, like, literally Bloody Mary burps. I don’t know how else to describe it.”
To make matters worse, Ally says tuna man then started scratching at a “luggy scab … that starts flaking off.
“At this point I’m pressed up so far against the window and seriously considering the merits of forcing an emergency landing,” she says.
Oh, but there’s more: Tuna man’s an aggressive snorer.
“I can hear it through my noise-cancelling headphones,” Ally says.
Can we please get this poor girl a Bloody Mary?