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A Texas man has the internet dying laughing for the obituary he penned for his father.
Charles Boehm, of Houston, candidly honoured his father, Robert Boehm, who passed away at the age of 74.
The write-up was not intended to be disrespectful but, rather, an honest tribute to the man who raised him.
“Robert Adolph Boehm, in accordance with his lifelong dedication to his own personal brand of decorum, muttered his last unintelligible and likely unnecessary curse on October 6, 2024, shortly before tripping backward over ‘some stupid bleeping thing’ and hitting his head on the floor,” the obituary began.
Boehm details his father’s beginning, and of his dad’s birth in 1950 he wrote, “God immediately and thankfully broke the mold and attempted to cover up the evidence.”
The man went on to recap how his father met his mother, explaining, “Raised Catholic, Robert managed to get his wife Dianne pregnant (three times) fast enough to just barely miss getting drafted into the Vietnam War by fathering Michelle, John, and Charlotte between 1967 and 1972,” the obituary continued.
“Much later, with Robert possibly concerned about the brewing conflict in Grenada, Charles was born in 1983,” the youngest son noted of his own birth.
Charles goes on to mention his father’s penchant for shooting, recalling how he “managed to blow not one, but two holes in the dash of his own car on two separate occasions.”
The son also noted how his father, who worked as a “semi-professional truck driver — not to be confused with a professional semi-truck driver,” also collected antique weaponry and harmonicas, the latter of which caused “his beloved dogs to howl continuously at odd hours of the night to entertain his many neighbors, and occasionally to give to his many, many, many grandchildren and great-grandchildren to play loudly during long road trips with their parents.”
Charles detailed how his mother passed away earlier this year, explaining, “God finally showed mercy upon Dianne, getting her the heck out of there for some well-earned peace and quiet.”
He wrote: “Without Dianne to gleefully entertain, Robert shifted his creative focus to the entertainment of you, the fine townspeople of Clarendon, Texas.”
Charles added: “We have all done our best to enjoy/weather Robert’s antics up to this point, but he is God’s problem now.”
The obit writer told the Washington Post he was “shocked” by how much people in his father’s town loved the dedication.
“We all visited him when we could, and the good people of Clarendon looked in on him and helped him out a lot,” he said to the outlet.
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“But it was hard for him looking at my mom’s empty chair, and I’m 600 miles away.”
Before embarking on a more serious recap of his beloved mother’s life, Charles mentioned the funeral details of where “Robert’s farewell tour” would be held.
“The family encourages you to dust off whatever outdated or inappropriate combination of clothing you have available to attend,” he added.
“A tip jar will be available in the front; flowers are also acceptable.”