In a powerful and emotional show of solidarity, 91 families affected by baby loss came together on a football pitch to hold letters of support for newly bereaved families. Organised by Sands United Brighton & Hove—a football team made up of bereaved dads—the event aimed to provide comfort, understanding and compassion to those grieving the loss of a baby.
The initiative, known as 91 Letters, was created to honour the 91 babies who are stillborn or die shortly after birth each week in the UK. Parents, friends, and families who have been touched by baby loss wrote letters to offer hope and reassurance to those navigating the early days of grief. These letters will be distributed to grieving families through hospitals and the Sands charity network for Baby Loss Awareness Week.
Half of UK adults have said that they, or someone they know, had experienced at least one form of pregnancy or baby loss. So it’s vital that everyone knows that they are not alone and that there is a community that understands and is here for them, whatever they need – be it guidance, shared stories or simply a listening ear to help and offer comfort.
Organiser, Will Bower, said: “We lost our son, Billy, 38 weeks into our pregnancy last April. I remember feeling very alone in that moment before finding Sands and other bereaved parents in the area. So we wanted to write some simple letters of support for families who are experiencing the most awful days of their lives. Losing a baby is the hardest thing that can happen to parents, and we hope these letters will support them soon after finding out about their loss to make them feel less alone”
Every week, 91 families in the UK suffer the heartbreak of losing a baby, before, during, or shortly after birth. The 91 Letters Initiative was created to mark this devastating statistic and provide support for those navigating the grief that follows.
Jen Coates, Director of Bereavement Support and Volunteering at Sands, shared her thoughts on the event: “For grieving parents and families, knowing there are other people who understand what they are going through can be incredibly important. Pregnancy and baby loss is often an isolating and lonely form of bereavement. Many people, even family and friends, may simply not know what to say or do when a baby dies. But bereaved parents tell us that when friends, family and colleagues reach out and connect, it lets them know they aren’t alone with their grief.”
“Writing a letter, an email or sending a text message can be as simple as saying ‘I’m so sorry, I’m here if you need me.’ Asking if they gave their baby or babies a name is also important. We’re very grateful to Sands United Brighton and Hove for organising this initiative for Baby Loss Awareness Week. Those families standing together on the pitch, holding their letters, were remembering their own babies and showing others that they don’t have to go through this alone.”
Andy Lindley, Club Chairman of Sands United Brighton; Hove, said: “Sadly, we know we’re not going to be the last parents to suffer the heartbreak of pregnancy or baby loss and we hope that sharing our experiences and stories in these letters to newly bereaved parents shows they’re not alone in their grief. Support and people like them, ready to listen and help when they’re ready.”
Stuart Tingley, Club Captain, added: “We’ve been where these families are now, and we know how much a gesture like this can mean. Each letter we wrote is a piece of our own experience, and we hope it brings comfort to those who need it most.”
Baby Loss Awareness Week drew to a close when candles for all the babies gone too soon are left burning for one hour during the global Wave of Light, with many joining together online, creating a trending moment of connection and collective remembrance across the UK.
Simon Stocker, Manager, said: “It’s heartbreaking to have to host an event like this because no one should ever have to experience the pain of losing a child. Yet, it’s a privilege to be able to offer a space where 30+ bereaved dads can come together, find support, play with their angels; names on their chests and clear their minds, even for a little while.
“The Wave of Light, while deeply emotional and heavy with grief, serves as a poignant and meaningful way to close Baby Loss Awareness Week, honouring the memory of the children who are no longer with us and reminding us all of the strength in coming together.”