Life isn’t a riot. It’s certainly not all-inclusive either. Unfortunately, the only thing that seems to be all-inclusive these days is anger.
That’s all too plain to see from the horrific scenes on riot-torn Britain’s streets this past week.
Of course, the most useless generation of politicians in history have kept up their usual form by doing what they usually do – going on X to posture, fishing for likes and trying to catch the eye of Elon Musk for either praise or a fight, depending on who they are.
Elsewhere on social media there’s little films of academics, journalists, and experts – the ‘Substack-erati’ sat cleverly debating how right they were that it’s come to this.
They told us so and now they are going to write an essay – subscribe now, You don’t want to miss out! – on what happens next. But what else is going on?
From what I can see many people are doing what they’ve always done in August – doing everything they can to get away from the grind of modern life.
For one or two weeks a year – after carefully saving up or sticking it on the credit card and hoping for the best – this is still a time when we many are heading for the airport.
Then, if you are lucky enough to manoeuvre your wheeled case around the Just Stop Oil protestors and Jeremy glued to the floor outside Superdry, and, IF your EasyJet plane is in the same postcode as you, it’s time to getaway.
People are getting away from more than just ‘the grind’ this year. I saw it myself in the past few days after the Jet2 flight me and the family were on touched down in Tenerife. There was concerned pockets of chatter on the flight about the trouble left behind in Britain. But the moment the pilot announced the bus to the terminal had arrived and the doors were opened that was forgotten.
Because at the end of the day people are deeply concerned about what’s happening in their communities – but aren’t out for a street scrap in the summer. For most families the year round, hard work is worth it for the two weeks all-inclusive in the sun.
After all it’s the only place in society where everyone is equal from swim-up bedroom, to bar, to buffet.
All this may seem frivolous to some but the average British family holidaymaker has got a bad press and it feeds into how attitudes are formed about the people of this country.
Like it or not, sneers from some in the media and political classes about what we get up to on our summer break have gone some way to fostering even more of a divide.
Not so much ‘Let them eat cake’ more a ‘let them eat buffets’ attitude as the snootier class swan off to their villas for all of August.
There had been much made in the run up to holiday season that there was a similar attitude to Brits from local people in the resorts.
Anti British tourist feeling has been building we’ve been told. But that’s not what I’ve seen. In fact the only action I’ve seen that could be considered hostile is the fact that the hotel I’m in doesn’t have a kettle in the rooms.
Don’t get in the way of grandma reading her Martina Cole with her early morning cuppa on the balcony! – unless you want her to storm down to reception to complain that is.
Like most everyday holidaymakers I am happiest in the only part of the year where the word ‘excursion’ exists. Just another dad in a badly ironed Fat Face shirt bought hastily at Stansted in a panic after thinking I’d not packed enough short sleeved options.
After all, where else can you go to fill up with self satisfaction that your children are better brought up than everyone else’s?
Where else can you go where dads can wear Adidas socks and sliders and strut around the pool thinking they look like mid-career Andy Murray?
Where else can you go where your mum can bring laughter to the barmen by asking for an ‘Asperol Spits’ when she meant ‘Aperol Spritz.’
Where else can you go where you can kid yourself after a long night at the bar, the next morning’s ‘detox juice’ is an elixir of health and not just lukewarm water with a slice of lemon and a bit of mint in it?
And where else can you get away with a scent that’s half duty free Joop, half jungle formula insect repellent without turning everyone’s stomachs?
British people are getting a bad press both home and abroad this summer. But from what I can see the peaceful majority aren’t asking for much – and the summer holiday where everyone is treated as equal is part of that.
Hell, where I’ve been Sunderland and Newcastle, Celtic and Rangers tops have been happily worn without a hard word said between the wearers.
Its the only place where people still share their morning papers – indeed a chap from Middlesbrough handed me his sun-crinkled copy of the Mail On Sunday with a cheery: “Here son, have a read of this Tory rag.”
That said, he might have rolled it up and hit me with it if had he known about my years editing the Sunday Express.
Everyone dreads the last day of holiday. Sat in reception, waving the now faded, multicoloured band on your left wrist to get your last round of free Fanta Lemons, thinking about home and work and the worries of normal life. This year many will head back with the extra dread and anxiety of what they’ll face in the troubled country they touch down in.
What would be nice would be to return to a country where they aren’t sneered at. What would be nice if they returned to a country where they are listened to. What would be nice would be to return to a country that’s a little more, well, all-inclusive the rest of the year.
…Well, I can dream can’t I?